How often have you thought or heard from someone around you: “Coaching – that’s just selling hot air.” “Coach?! Who needs that?” “Do people pay for that?!” “What nonsense from the West won’t we adopt!”
As far as I can count, I’ve heard it at least 1,897 times. And it makes one wonder: how can people who have never attended a coaching session, who don’t even know what coaching looks like or what it entails, have such a strongly formed – and negative – opinion?
It occurs to me that many people are initially annoyed because they don’t even know what Anglicism means in Serbian. Maybe the reason is that various miracle workers, magicians, fear chasers, spirit exorcists, influencers with bought followers on social networks, by profession, you guessed it – “coaches”; or because it’s some new fancy trend, so it’s irritating in itself. Maybe because: “Who is that smart-ass to tell me how to live my life?!” – If that’s the case, then these are not valid reasons.
Coaching – an old Serbian word for…?
The term itself is a bit awkward, but there is no literal translation in Serbian. I would translate it most simply as “support in development”, and according to the official ICF definition, coaching is: “A partnering relationship with a client in a process that inspires them to think and be creative, which inspires the client to maximize their personal and professional potential.”
Self-proclaimed coach
A coach is a profession, and like any profession, the person who performs it should have the appropriate knowledge and skills required for that profession. So, it’s not enough to just have “coach” next to your name on social media (even if the “coach” is pictured in a silk nightgown staring into the horizon, while a freshly groomed Pomeranian naps in their lap; nor if the “coach” demonstrates their success with a Reel driving a “Lambo” through the streets of Dubai, throwing money out the window). A coach is not a title, but a very concrete job that requires proper education and years of experience.
Coaching as a fad
Although the term “coaching” has been intensely used here recently, the essence behind it is not that new. If you’re curious enough to research the Internet, you’ll find information that the idea of coaching dates back to ancient times. It’s no secret that “great people” throughout history had the support of “wise men”, who helped them through conversation to find the right path and make important decisions at crucial moments (note: the wise men didn’t tell them what to decide, the decision was always theirs alone, and this is the basic idea of coaching).
As times changed, the pace of life and work accelerated, and the flow of information reached unimaginable proportions, “ordinary” people found themselves in situations where they had to make important decisions quickly every day, keep up with changes, and change themselves. Thus, the need for the profession called “coach” was born.
It’s also important to say that this is not any kind of sage, but a person trained to listen to you carefully and support you with various techniques and tools to make decisions, craft plans, and finally, stick to those plans and put them into action.
And let’s clear up another misconception: in real coaching, there’s nothing fancy, sexy, or modern – it’s a long and serious process for both sides, full of tears, fear, struggle, and faith – too demanding for anyone to engage in it just as a fad.
“My coach gave me 7 tips for a happy life”
Furthermore, let’s explain what a coach does. No, they don’t shower you with wisdom from the “7 Rules for a Happy Life” series, nor do they give you advice because they’ve “already been through it all.”
In fact, a coach primarily listens. If they are good at their job, they listen to you like no one has ever listened to you before. During the session, you, the client, become the center of their universe. Thanks to such attentive listening, the coach feels your every enthusiasm, anxiety, fear, and joy, and helps you, with the right questions, to become aware of and view them from different angles. Following these signals, with the coach’s support, you make “bulletproof” plans, reexamine your motivation to achieve them, and ensure persistence in fulfilling them because together you track progress and adjust strategies on time.
In all of this, you are the “star”, while the coach is always in the background. You are “behind the wheel”, and you decide how to live your life. The coach, as your support, knows that change is a long and demanding process full of ups and downs, in which you need an ally who believes in you even when you doubt yourself.
In conclusion
Coaching in Serbia is a rather unregulated field, often mixed with many other areas from psychotherapy and mentoring to outright quackery, and there is certainly a lot of confusion. It is up to you, the potential client, to ensure that someone does not sell you hot air, but a quality service from which you will gain real value.
Therefore, turn on your fog lights and pay attention to the following:
- The qualifications the coach has (ICF is an organization that guarantees the gold standard in coaching worldwide, and their accreditation tells you that the coach has sufficient knowledge and skills, so that’s a great starting point);
- Experience in the field (find out how long, where, and with whom the coach has worked, and look for recommendations);
- Whether the coach suits you as a person (this is best checked in an introductory session, which is usually free and serves to allow the coach and potential client to get to know each other and mutually assess).
